People with Asperger's autism often repeat things they've heard. Quotes from movies, games, and even other people will frequently pepper the speech of an autistic. Sometimes this can make people with Asperger's a bit hard to understand. We might say a quote that makes no sense to someone who doesn't know where the quote originated, or even confuse those who have. If someone is talking about the alphabet, I might say "A is for Amber who drowned in a pool," a quote from the song A Gorey Demise (yes, that's how you spell it.) But why I'm saying this and what I mean can be very hard for some people to understand, even if they have heard the song.
Much of what I say is a quote from somewhere or another because I wouldn't otherwise know how to correctly say or express certain things. How do you ask someone if they need help or not? When I was young, I had a lot of trouble with this. Just saying whatever came to mind wouldn't work. If I could think of anything at all, there was a good chance the person I was asking wouldn't understand what I meant. I have many times said something that makes perfect sense to me and baffles all others. Then one day, I saw a movie in which one character asks "May I be of assistance?" Ever since that day, I have asked "May I be of assistance?" when I'm wondering if someone needs help.
There are many situations when these quotes don't work as well as intended, like things that only make sense in the context of when it was originally said. Still, it's better than nothing, so we repeat.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
To Tell or Not to Tell
I used to think I was just naturally clumsy, but after much researching of autism, it turns out that may not have been the case. It seems clumsiness is, when combined with many other things, a sign of autism! Who knew. Now I know why I'm constantly knocking things over, running into things (and I don't mean brushing a wall with your shoulder, I mean taking a large bead post to the chest), tripping, and dropping things. It seems that I'm simply not as aware of where my body is in space as the average person is.
This brings me to the point of this entry, if in a bit of a roundabout way: Do you tell a kid if they've been diagnosed with autism? This is a big issue for many parents. What if they feel like they're not as good as other people because they have autism? What if they think it means they will never succeed? Over the internet, I've heard many parents worry over this.
Usually, this is where I weigh the pros and cons out for you to see, then tell you to use your best judgment in deciding for yourself. This is the exception to the rule, as I think there is only one viable choice. I believe you must tell.
Back to first paragraph now. How do you think I felt when I walked straight into a thick bedpost that I was looking straight at? Stupid. I felt like an idiot. Then, I learned that it wasn't entirely my fault. Yes, it still hurt to walk into in, but I didn't feel like an idiot anymore. Then there's social situations. If you've read some other entries of this blog, you'll know that I once failed miserably at interacting normally even when trying my absolute hardest. That made me feel like I couldn't get anything right, like I shouldn't even try. I felt broken, rejected. To this day, I have trouble putting 100% into anything because some part of me is still sure that I will fail at everything I really want. Several years and one diagnosis later, I no longer feel like a failure when faltering in a social situation. I know now that it's not entirely my fault, and that makes me want to keep trying. I'm not so stupid that I can't do anything right, I just have to try again.
I never want any autistic child to wonder 'What is wrong with me?!' I don't want them to have to think they're a stupid failure, or to think they can only mess up everything they try. I don't want them to be afraid to keep trying.
Any parents of an autistic child reading this, please, tell your child. Explain that it's not they're fault, that they can succeed if they keep trying. Make sure they know that autism is not a disability. Disabilities stop people, and now that I know what I'm up against, I never let Asperger's stop me. Let the child know that there's nothing wrong with them, but that their brain works differently. Help turn helpless failure in their future to a battle won, a success.
This brings me to the point of this entry, if in a bit of a roundabout way: Do you tell a kid if they've been diagnosed with autism? This is a big issue for many parents. What if they feel like they're not as good as other people because they have autism? What if they think it means they will never succeed? Over the internet, I've heard many parents worry over this.
Usually, this is where I weigh the pros and cons out for you to see, then tell you to use your best judgment in deciding for yourself. This is the exception to the rule, as I think there is only one viable choice. I believe you must tell.
Back to first paragraph now. How do you think I felt when I walked straight into a thick bedpost that I was looking straight at? Stupid. I felt like an idiot. Then, I learned that it wasn't entirely my fault. Yes, it still hurt to walk into in, but I didn't feel like an idiot anymore. Then there's social situations. If you've read some other entries of this blog, you'll know that I once failed miserably at interacting normally even when trying my absolute hardest. That made me feel like I couldn't get anything right, like I shouldn't even try. I felt broken, rejected. To this day, I have trouble putting 100% into anything because some part of me is still sure that I will fail at everything I really want. Several years and one diagnosis later, I no longer feel like a failure when faltering in a social situation. I know now that it's not entirely my fault, and that makes me want to keep trying. I'm not so stupid that I can't do anything right, I just have to try again.
I never want any autistic child to wonder 'What is wrong with me?!' I don't want them to have to think they're a stupid failure, or to think they can only mess up everything they try. I don't want them to be afraid to keep trying.
Any parents of an autistic child reading this, please, tell your child. Explain that it's not they're fault, that they can succeed if they keep trying. Make sure they know that autism is not a disability. Disabilities stop people, and now that I know what I'm up against, I never let Asperger's stop me. Let the child know that there's nothing wrong with them, but that their brain works differently. Help turn helpless failure in their future to a battle won, a success.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Autism Awareness Day Today
I find this quite entertaining. To me, autism awareness day might as well be fingers awareness day. It's a bit strange to see people raising awareness about something that's part of you, there every day. Still, the purpose of this blog is to promote autism awareness and education, so I guess it's not that strange after all.
I wonder what people wish for the autistic on this day. I bet a lot wish for a cure, which I've discussed in a previous entry. Then some must wish for an education system that better handles individuals with autism. Although this is truly needed, I don't think it's the biggest need. No, if I could make one wish for this day, it would be acceptance. Maybe this day really will spread awareness, and people will understand the mind of an autistic a bit better. With understanding going hand-in-hand with acceptance, maybe I will get my wish today. If one person learns to accept, that's enough for me. So if you're reading this, remember that you can change the world bit by bit with just a little acceptance.
I wonder what people wish for the autistic on this day. I bet a lot wish for a cure, which I've discussed in a previous entry. Then some must wish for an education system that better handles individuals with autism. Although this is truly needed, I don't think it's the biggest need. No, if I could make one wish for this day, it would be acceptance. Maybe this day really will spread awareness, and people will understand the mind of an autistic a bit better. With understanding going hand-in-hand with acceptance, maybe I will get my wish today. If one person learns to accept, that's enough for me. So if you're reading this, remember that you can change the world bit by bit with just a little acceptance.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Routine and Orderly Things
From a young age, this is one of the more obvious symptoms of autism. Lining up toys. Asking the same question. Watching the same movie. Eating the same thing. Becoming extremely upset over small changes in everyday events, like being out of Lucky Charms. This comes from the need for unchanging, repetitive schedules.
lining things up is a bit similar to OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) in that it comes from the need for things to be just so. When I played house with my various toys as a child, it was never tea parties and adventures. Instead, I would gather many small plastic toys and make them act out life on tight schedules. Even my earliest memories of Barbies worked on a schedule. I would often create extremely rigid systems in which families of toys moved through life on rotational schedules. After a few tweaks, I had a system that I could theoretically use until the end of time with no changes to the schedule at all. This repetitive cycle wasn't for lack of imagination. I had a huge amount of toy hamsters, and I made for each a name, personality, and history. Despite this, all I wanted to do with them is to move them through the cycle. This was my version of lining up cars. I just got a certain satisfaction from seeing everything mentally lined up, order in everything. It's like working in a garden and getting that feeling of accomplishment when you see that there are no more weeds left. Doing it any other way bored me as much as my rotational schedule would have bored neurotypical children.
I wasn't one of the children that ask the same question over and over until my parents were all but ready to leave me on an orphanage doorstep, but many are. Asking the same question and getting the same response over and over is soothing to many people with Asperger's autism. Nothing unexpected, everything lined up.
Some people wonder why autistic people get so upset over schedule changes. Imagine your mind as a road. Whether you want to walk, run, drive, or cycle, there's nothing in your way. Everything moves along normally at a proper speed. A schedule change is like your mental road suddenly becoming a corkscrew that would terrify even Sonic the Hedgehog. All comes to a screeching halt. When this happens, I find myself caught in a loop. I turn in circles, say the same thing over and over, and thinking the same thought. It feels like becoming a human record, skipping over the same word again and again because the next one can't be properly read. For some reason, my mind just can't make it past the disruption.
For some people, success means their life is spontaneous. They suddenly decide to go bowling, or on a vacation to Hawaii, or to visit family in France. For me, success is repetition. I want a life of doing the same thing at the same time every day until the end of the world, the kind of thing that can drive most people out of their heads or into the depths of depression. I find it funny how what most people describe as being stuck in a rut is my favorite place to be.
lining things up is a bit similar to OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) in that it comes from the need for things to be just so. When I played house with my various toys as a child, it was never tea parties and adventures. Instead, I would gather many small plastic toys and make them act out life on tight schedules. Even my earliest memories of Barbies worked on a schedule. I would often create extremely rigid systems in which families of toys moved through life on rotational schedules. After a few tweaks, I had a system that I could theoretically use until the end of time with no changes to the schedule at all. This repetitive cycle wasn't for lack of imagination. I had a huge amount of toy hamsters, and I made for each a name, personality, and history. Despite this, all I wanted to do with them is to move them through the cycle. This was my version of lining up cars. I just got a certain satisfaction from seeing everything mentally lined up, order in everything. It's like working in a garden and getting that feeling of accomplishment when you see that there are no more weeds left. Doing it any other way bored me as much as my rotational schedule would have bored neurotypical children.
I wasn't one of the children that ask the same question over and over until my parents were all but ready to leave me on an orphanage doorstep, but many are. Asking the same question and getting the same response over and over is soothing to many people with Asperger's autism. Nothing unexpected, everything lined up.
Some people wonder why autistic people get so upset over schedule changes. Imagine your mind as a road. Whether you want to walk, run, drive, or cycle, there's nothing in your way. Everything moves along normally at a proper speed. A schedule change is like your mental road suddenly becoming a corkscrew that would terrify even Sonic the Hedgehog. All comes to a screeching halt. When this happens, I find myself caught in a loop. I turn in circles, say the same thing over and over, and thinking the same thought. It feels like becoming a human record, skipping over the same word again and again because the next one can't be properly read. For some reason, my mind just can't make it past the disruption.
For some people, success means their life is spontaneous. They suddenly decide to go bowling, or on a vacation to Hawaii, or to visit family in France. For me, success is repetition. I want a life of doing the same thing at the same time every day until the end of the world, the kind of thing that can drive most people out of their heads or into the depths of depression. I find it funny how what most people describe as being stuck in a rut is my favorite place to be.
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